Today stinks.

Today is Ry's second trial day at daycare. We skipped sending her for a day last week due to the fact that her Mom hates sending her the storm . I never thought I would want to stay home full time, and while there is still a part of me that wants to get back to work and challenge my mind, there is also a huge part of me that dreads being away from my Little Bug every.single.weekday. Unfortunately in this economy accounting jobs are just not available part time.

My current position is very flexible and leaving early/getting in late isn't much of a problem as long as I am putting in my 40 hours during the work week. My current position requires 30-40% overnight travel, which is not possible (nor am I willing to do) anymore. For the last six years I spent over 10 weeks a year in hotel rooms. The first few years I really enjoyed traveling, but it really wears you out.

That being said, I am able to return to my current position for a short period of time, however finding a new position (internally or externally) is a must. This unknown scares me. It scares me to not know where I will be working, what my hours will be, how close to Ry I will be, and how my relationship with Ry will change.

Being without her today is hard. I have fought back tears for the better part of the morning. Knowing this is my last week with her stinks. I miss her like crazy. The unknown scares me.

What I do know is that being away from her will make me cherish my time with her. I love her like crazy. She will spend two days with her Grandmas who love her like crazy. She will spend three days with a daycare provider I really like. This is our life right now. It will work. We will adjust.

One more thing... For a few nights we heated up Ry's towel in the drier. Now she doesn't scream every time we take her out of her tubby!